December 18, 2011

December 11, 2011

December 4, 2011

A few days after Christmas, Charles was leaving a grocery store and noticed a teenage boy standing in front of and staring at his new ride. Charles smiled at the young man and, as he was about to get in, heard the teenager say, “I really do like your car!” Charles smiled and said, “Thanks!” and then told him that the car was a Christmas gift from his brother. “Seriously,” the teenager replied, “Your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you anything?” “Yep, that’s right” replied Charles. As the teenage boy stood there Charles knew what he was thinking. You see, Charles had shared this story several times over the last few days and had heard the same thing over and over. He fully expected to hear the young man say, “I wish I had a brother like that.” But what Charles heard shook him to the core and made him think about himself like never before. “I wish…,” the young man hesitated momentarily, “…that I could be a brother like that.”

Christmas really is about giving not getting

Many times during the days that follow the Christmas holiday we will hear this question, “What did you get for Christmas?” Not only will we hear that question we often ask it of others. But, it seems to me that, Christmas is not so much about getting as it is about giving.  And so, as we enter into this very special time of the year when we celebrate the greatest gift of all – the gift of God’s only Son – let’s shift our focus from what we get to what we give. Why not make this question the one you ask, “What did you GIVE for Christmas this year?” Now, you might not be able to give your brother a new car but I suspect that, if you think about it, there are things you can give that may even be more valuable.

I’m Thankful For, Week 3: The Phrase That Transforms Relationships

November 27, 2011
Message by Bill Denning

I’m thankful for the River Oaks Church family

When our family moved to Raleigh over 11 years ago to start a new church little did we know what twists and turns our lives would take. The road we have been on since moving here has been challenging and rewarding. It’s had hills and valleys. Through those challenges we have learned much about ourselves and what God is doing in and through us. And while there have been many rewarding things in our lives over the past years you are our biggest blessing. Some of you have been with us from day one. Others have just joined our numbers this year. But all of you are near and dear to our hearts and we are extremely thankful for each of you.

Thank you!

So, as I write the last blog for November I want to say two important words to you, “Thank You!” I am so honored to be your pastor and excited to serve with you here in north Raleigh. I can hardly wait to see what God has around the next bend in this road we are on together.

I’m Thankful For, Week 2: A Powerful Weapon

November 20, 2011
Message by Bill Denning

Choose to think

After Paul lists the general categories he tells us to do something very specific. He tells us to “think about such things.” Now that word “think” is an interesting word. What Paul is referring to here is the kind of thinking that involves a conscious act on our part. We’re not simply reacting to what’s happening around us. We are making a conscious choice. The word “think” used here literally means to count, compute or calculate. So it’s not referring to simply being positive. It’s referring to a detailed evaluation in order to see reality. Let me illustrate what I’m getting at. When I reconcile my bank statement I come up with a figure of what I have in the account. Prior to making that reconciliation I might think I know what’s in the account. However, it’s not until I do a reconciliation that I know what reality is regarding my account. So developing an attitude of gratitude involves me thinking – reconciling what’s going on around me – determining reality. That way I know what’s really going on. Otherwise I might think I know what’s happening and I might be completely wrong. Once I know reality, I can focus on the truth of the situation.

We can control what we think about

Now, what has all this got to do with developing and maintaining an attitude of gratitude. Well, while there are many things in life we cannot control, one thing we do have the ability to control is what we think about. That’s why Paul tells us to think! He wouldn’t have told us to do something which we can’t do. The fact is every day we choose what we think about and what we chose to think about has a great deal to do with this attitude of gratitude. Here’s why. If we choose to think about those things that are true, noble, right and pure, etc. we can’t help but be grateful. Something happens inside us. I can’t explain it although I know it’s true. That’s because I experience it in my own life. When we think about the things that Paul shares with us we discover that an attitude of thanksgiving begins to grow in us. And, when we don’t think about these things the opposite happens. So here’s an important question for you.

What do you think about?

Are you thinking about things that fit into the categories Paul has outlined for us or do you think about things that are the antithesis? I would encourage you to make your list of things that fall in the categories Paul outlines and make a choice to think about those things. When you do, you will begin to develop and maintain an attitude of gratitude.

I’m Thankful For, Week 1

November 13, 2011
Message by Bill Denning

Gratitude is not really about feelings

When I was a child I remember my mom and dad asking me a specific question. They asked this question on numerous occasions and always immediately after someone did or said something nice to me. My parents would look at me and ask, “What do you say?” The first time they asked that question I didn’t know the answer so they told me. After hearing that question several times I learned that there was only one correct answer: “Thank you.”  One of the things I remember about that question was that there were times when I really didn’t want to give the “thank you” answer. For example, I remember getting a very nice sweater (at least that’s how my mom described it) from my grand-parents one year for Christmas. What I really wanted to say when I opened the present was, “A sweater? I wanted a GI-Joe!” But again, immediately upon opening the gift and right after mom said that the sweater was very nice, I heard that question and knew I’d better give the right answer. Eventually I learned that saying “thank you” was expected by my parents even if I didn’t feel grateful. As I matured I came to understand why. Saying, “Thank you” was simply the right thing to do! Even if I didn’t feel gratitude in my heart, saying “thank you” was not so much about me as it was about those to whom I said it! The fact is my parents wanted me to learn gratitude even when I didn’t feel gratitude. They wanted me to learn that there are times when I need to express my thanks simply because it’s the right thing to do. Now, this is an important truth to learn. Gratitude is not really about how we may feel. It’s about doing the right thing. Gratitude is about the other person not so much about us.

Saying “Thank you!” often results in feelings

Now that we realize that gratitude is not really about feelings we need to move on to ways to develop and maintain gratitude in our lives. One step you can take to develop and maintain this kind of attitude is to learn to say, “Thank you.” There’s just something about saying those words that changes our perception. When we begin to express our thanks it’s not long before we begin to feel it. Something, and I can’t explain it, happens to us on the inside when we say, “Thank you” and do so often. Saying those words regularly keeps discontentment and dissatisfaction away. I believe those two words have great power to change things not so much in the lives of others although that is indeed true. Regularly saying those two words has the power to change us! On the other hand, ingratitude does the opposite. It shrinks our heart and makes us cold and hard. As in my illustration above, we need to say “Thank you” even when we get a sweater instead of a GI-Joe! And when we do oftentimes the feelings will come.

Be careful what you focus on

Last week I teased you by giving you a hint – Philippians 4:8. In this verse the Apostle Paul writes, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” When Paul tells us to “think about such things” he is not advocating the power of positive thinking that we hear about in our culture today. Thinking positively about things that aren’t true doesn’t make them come true. As Zig Ziglar say, “I can think positively about being a brain surgeon but you don’t want me operating on your head!” That word “think” can be translated “calculate.” In other words, we look at what is true and we focus on that. Let me see if I can illustrate it for you. Recently I read the story of a man who was walking along a busy street one day. Above all the street and crowd noise, he heard someone singing. When he located him the man who was singing, he noticed that the man had no legs and was pushing himself through the crowd in a wheelchair. He stood there and watched the man singing and then went up to him. He told the man in the wheel chair that hearing a person in his condition singing gives everyone else a lift. To which the man responded, “When I stopped looking at what I had lost and began concentrating on all I had left, I found much for which I could rejoice and be happy.” So here’s a key to develop and maintain an attitude of gratitude. Focus on the right things. Paul gives us a general outline but not specifics in the above verse. Those specifics must come from us. So, during this next week invest some time in thinking about the specifics. Write them down. Review them often and see what happens when you do!